Abu Qatada Sticks Two Prongs up at the Establishment……

24 Apr

‘Home Secretaries come and go, ex Prime Ministers die and Elton John’s hair is still just wrong, but in these uncertain times you can rely on Abu Qatada to bring some nostalgic certainty into our austere lives……’


Theresa_May_Home_SecretaryFeckless Home Secretary Theresa May, 56, has announced that a new treaty signed by the British and Jordanians will ‘finally make possible’ the deportation of Abu Qatada.  However, she warned that once the treaty is fully ratified it does not mean that Abu Qatada will be ‘on a plane to Jordan within days’.  Clearly, these considerations were not taken into account when the British Government were complicit in the ‘extraordinary rendition’ of UK citizens to Guantanamo Bay and straight into the hands of a country that does torture terrorist suspects; America.

Presumably the latest treaty is part of the tireless work successive Home Secretaries have undertaken to protect the human rights of the Jordanian people.  We can be assured that the Jordanian Government will honour the treaty based on their current record.  Areas of concern expressed by Human Rights Organisations include:

  • limitations on the right of citizens to change their government peacefully
  • cases of arbitrary deprivation of life, torture, poor prison conditions, arbitrary arrest, denial of due process and prolonged detention without trial
  • limited freedom of speech and state interference of the ‘free’ press
  • restricted freedom of assembly and the right to demonstrate
  • legal discrimination and harassment of gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender communities
  • restricted labour rights and abuse of immigrant workers
  • loss of Jordanian nationality and discrimination against Palestinians

So, no reason for Theresa May to question the reliability of the new treaty, or believe that the Jordanian authorities are likely to ignore it……

Even without the treaty other options are available.  One proposal is the ‘temporary’ withdrawal from the European Convention on Human Rights.  Mrs May even suggested that we withdraw completely; clearly an advancement of justice for all of humanity and one familiar to her husband.  Details of when, and for how long, any temporary withdrawal from the ECHR will last are unclear but when Mrs May provides this information perhaps it will offer up an opportunity for the BNP, EDL and other right wing groups to ‘clear up’ some of their ‘problems’ at the same time……

Dangerous Cleric

Another Dangerous Cleric

If all else fails, maybe we should take a leaf out of the American’s rule book and use our newly aquired drones to summarily execute Mr Qatada when he pops out to Waitrose; taking care not to kill too many ‘innocent’ civilians with the exception of his wife and children of course.  Obviously, Abu Qatada will shop at Waitrose being one of the many beneficiaries of our generous welfare system that is solely responsible for the appalling state of the economy, stagnant growth and complete failure to reduce the budget deficit.  However, if we do ‘deal’ with the Abu Qatada problem I’m certain the economic benefits will be immediately apparent, even to Gideon……

Why does the Government so desperately want to deport Abu Qatada?  After all, surely he is less dangerous living in the UK where we can continue to breach many of his fundamental human rights and deny him access to his army of loyal followers.  If by some miracle intervention of the prophet the Jordanian court found him not guilty he would be free to start plotting the overthrow of the British Government.  With enough votes and the help of the Lib Dems he could seize power and lock up Theresa May for years without charge and effectively suspend Habeas Corpus, take control of the drones and indiscriminately order the extra-judicial execution of ‘suspected’ terrorists and even invade sovereign states on the untrue premise that they possess WMD’s.  Doubtless he would do this in the name of our security whilst secretly lining the pockets of his newly found filthy rich ‘friends’ who would surround him like flies jockeying for position on a freshly laid dog turd……



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