Crossing a Line in the Sand……

2 Mar

Enough is Enough……

My inadequately addressed Psychological problems, compounded by a complete lack of joined up support services,  have led to my conclusion that I can no longer place the burden of the seemingly endless fall-out I experience on a regular basis on my the shoulders of my remaining family, in which my long suffering Mother is left to pick up the pieces……

The Source of the Problem……

My reliance upon Healthcare Services to function on a daily basis is paramount.  Thus far they proved to be a hindrance rather than a conduit for improvement, management and change.  I feel that I am passed from pillar to post, a situation which is only set to get worse now that that the individual services are being separated and funded by results rather than engagement with those requiring their help.

As a direct result of the reorganisation my counselling services are being removed despite their initial guarantee to stick with me until my problems are resolved.  We have yet to establish an appropriate prescribing regime and now my GP wants to pass his responsibilities to secondary services that have proved to be completely inadequate……

The Impact of this Circumstance……

 

I am left without appropriate medication, feeling suicidal, socially dysfunctional and isolated, suffering from memory problems and functionally disabled.  All of which has led to Mother stating that I have “ruined her life”, “am a cause of emotional and financial drain” and “a hindrance to her” in her newly acquired role of Legal Guardian to my 11 year old niece……

Solution……

I am in complete agreement that I am a hindrance to the already difficult challenge of raising a minor, a task that must be daunting for a 71 year old woman and that my very being here is causing extra stress and problems.

I have spent over 20 years seeking answers and help to rebuild my life and, not for want of trying, have failed.  I now feel that all would be better served by my disappearance for ever.  Whether that is an irreversible action from which there is no return, or whether I just disappear telling know-one my whereabouts, I am as yet undecided but I strongly feel that my situation is beyond redemption and can see only one final way out.  The methodology is yet to be decided but I will make sure if I take the final opt-out, it will be as far away from here as possible and the result will be forensically unsolvable and totally destructive……

I am contemplating my options carefully but rest assured it will be executed with military precision and decisiveness……

I feel I have nowhere else to turn and will be doing all parties concerned a service they have expressed an interest in……

I’m sorry the return of the Dripping Tap may be disturbing to some of you but I feel I have no other options open to me……

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