A Polite Way to Die……

16 Jul

I feel as if I have been backed into a corner.  This is a situation completely of my own making and I take full responsibility for it.  I have spent a lot of time slowly but surely deconstructing my once fruitful existence to a point where I can see no future for myself.  Some of this sad scenario is due to my drug induced escapism, some due to the inability to reconcile the potential I feel I once had to offer those around me and the contribution I could of made to the future of mankind, some due to the crushing realisation that as time has passed I have missed the boat or simply not had the resources to afford the passage and some due to the realisation that the future holds only a declining misery, leading to an ultimate demise into old age and loneliness.  I can see no positives on, or over the horizon and want to end the suffering sooner rather than later.  The prospect of a long drawn out demise frightens me and given the choice I’d rather return to the status of pre-birth which I see as the same as death.  You didn’t know or feel anything before you were conceived which I believe is how things feel when you die……

So how do you reach the latter of the two states?  You need to bring about your end.  Unfortunately, although guaranteed success can be achieved by standing in front of an Intercity 125 or jumping from a high building, I openly admit to not having the will power to make such a move.  There has to be a point at which fear overcomes the desired outcome.  However, having accidentally taken an overdose of Opiates, from which friends have resuscitated me, I have no fear of the process of death provided I am sufficiently sedated.  In light if this realisation I have the outlines of a plan……

Given sufficient amounts of Benzodiazepines the need to take a step off of a high building or into the path of a train is removed.  Provided the quantity is high enough the final objective is achievable.  Now not being a doctor or knowing one who would willingly write a prescription large enough to produce the desired effect I have been thinking of an alternative plan.  My local, friendly Pharmacist has no security measures in place to stop a determined individual from simply walking into the back room, demanding what they need and letting the Pharmacist take whatever action is required, by which time the perpetrator would be long gone.  Gone to a place where, by the time they were to be located, the effect of the combination of drugs would have brought about the desired effect.  A painless exit from the bleak future life holds……

Food for thought?  Ironically, for once an achievable goal……


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